


Fifty Shades Of Blue

by whyzuckerbergwhy



Category: Mark Zuckerberg - Fandom
Genre: Other, Saverin!Facebook AU, fixit fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-12 21:01:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9090565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whyzuckerbergwhy/pseuds/whyzuckerbergwhy
Summary: If you're just a casual AO3-er who stumbles upon this, I am so so sorry. It's part of a massive in-joke and will make 0 sense.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Context is for the weak.

 

"Here is some money. Pay Mark Zuckerberg to fix the 'Going' button on Sam's event for me," Erin said to Eduardo Saverin.

 

"But we're not friends anymore," Eduardo Saverin said. He fed some chicken to a chicken.

 

"Here is some more money," Erin said.

 

"Okay," Eduardo Saverin said.

 

He called up Mark Zuckerberg.

 

"Fix Facebook for Erin," Eduardo Saverin said to Mark Zuckerberg.

 

"Facebook.com/FuckYouEduardo," Mark Zuckerberg said.

 

Eduardo Saverin started to cry. "It's just coz I'm cutting onions," he assured Erin.

 

Erin couldn't see any onions, but she was raised properly so she didn't say that. "Tell him about the money," she said.

 

"I have money," Eduardo Saverin said.

 

"Facebook.com/LikeINeedYourMoney," Mark Zuckerberg said.

 

Eduardo Saverin looked like he was going to cry again but Erin gave him A Stern Look and he grew a spine. "There's lots of it," he said.

 

"Facebook.com/HowMuch?" Mark Zuckerberg said.

 

Eduardo Saverin sniffed. "M-Myspace.com/LotsOfMon-"

 

"Facebook.com/You'reNotFuckingFunnyEduardo," Mark Zuckerberg said.

 

Eduardo Saverin couldn't help himself and started crying again. He let the phone drop onto the table and buried his face in his hands.

 

Far away, Aaron Sorkin [who wrote the Social Network] rolled his eyes. "Aaronsorkin.com/DeusExMachina," he muttered, and lit a cigar.

 

The chicken swallowed its mouthful of chicken, stalked to the phone, and cleared its throat. "Fix your fucking website, Mark," it said.

 

Mark Zuckerberg was stunned into silence. Eduardo Saverin continued to sob quietly. Erin blinked at the chicken.

 

"Yeah all right," Mark Zuckerberg said eventually.

 

A long moment passed. Erin thought about making a comment about how much she disliked modern poetry, but it hadn't yet been established or even foreshadowed in any way, so she thought it might feel a bit OOC.

 

"Er, that's, um, all fixed for you," Mark Zuckerberg said.

 

"Fuckin' rad," Erin replied.

 

She logged into Facebook on her phone and selected 'Going' on the event.

 

Eduardo Saverin continued to sob.

 

Facebook.com/The End


End file.
